There’s this thing in nature where animals, deer, ducks, and others, shake after a stressful encounter, relieving the tension that forms during a fight.

Last night after watching the debates, I shook. There’s a baby in my house now, and she cried, unusually distraught. It may be unrelated, but I’m not so sure…

WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? Why do we have to go to war like this? In the world or at home? Why do we have to make everything so personal? We’re all after the same thing: We all want to feel better.

Whether its our own pain, or someone else’s. Fear for our families, our country, our world or humanity, even if it’s fear for our own ego, that’s pain too, and we all want to feel less of it. We’re all on the same side whether we know it or not.

Comic: people arguing; text: "we're all on the same side"

And this, the way we’ve begun talking to each other and about each other, it does not feel good. Actually, it feels awful in this body over here. It makes me sad. It makes me so sad I want to shake. And cry. And yell. And say STOP IT. EVERYBODY STOP IT. ME TOO. STOP IT.

I don’t want to fight anymore.

I don’t want to fight abroad. I don’t want to fight at home. I don’t want to fight with Trump. I don’t want to fight want with prejudice or policy. We all are guilty of all of it. And the moment we start blaming, judging, pointing fingers and abusing *anyone*, we’re participating in the exact same harm we seek to alleviate.

Last night after the debates, Joanna shared with me that watching something like that instilled within her a sense of responsibility. The essence of what she shared is that something like last night’s debate doesn’t happen that way without a nation that condones it on some level, conscious or unconscious.

She said it’s why she believes so much in doing our inner work and those who teach it. Looking at our own judgements, biases, fears and desires, helps us find and take personal responsibility. This is how we can be peace, instead of just wanting it. I was so moved by this. So often I ask myself how our inner work relates to outer change, and last night, she reminded me.

A few weeks ago, Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan announced an initiative to eliminate disease. This seems like a crazy goal, right? But they chose it, and they’re doing it.

What would my version be? It would be to Change The Conversation. There’s no need for us to talk to each other this way, and there are so many teachers, guides, and leaders who are showing us regularly and relentlessly how to lead with personal responsibility, harmony, and unity.

I want to help Change The Conversation. I want to take this seriously. There are so many love warriors already working on this issue, who have taught me so much, and I want to join. I want to help. With everything I have, it’s what I want to stand for.

The last question in the debate last night moved me to tears. My body shook in a different way. I jumped up, I clapped.  “Can you name one positive thing you respect in one another?”

The conversation is changing, and I’m going with it.

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