The Hole Inside

There’s only one thing I’ve ever foundTo fill the hole inside. Money won’t do the jobAnd a job is not enough.Looking good just covers upThe deeper painful stuff Approval from outside won’t do,Pride only last so longSoon the hole is back againAs deep and just as strong Accomplishments won’t fill itNor any trophies wonGenerosity is … Read more

Rejection

A few days ago, I woke up at 3 am and couldn’t fall back to sleep. I had unintentionally boarded the train of thought, which meandered its way to an old uncomfortable memory of getting dumped. Not recently. Vince and I are doing great which made it all the more annoying that I found myself revisiting a … Read more

ME-ditation

I’ve been meditating for over a decade and therefore it astounds me that the majority of the time I sit or lie down to meditate, this question arises:  “Um, what am I doing again?”  And then this one, “And why?” Sometimes I can find the answers in the meditation itself.    Sometimes I just let a … Read more

A story about love and getting unstuck…

Many of you read how Vince and I got together nearly two years ago.  What I didn’t include in that version, was how I got myself ready to meet my guy.For years…decades even, I believed with my whole heart I wanted to fall in love. You can imagine how frustrated I felt as I turned 30, 31…35, 36… … Read more

Going All the Way With Play

I’m so excited to share this video I made recently with the help of my new art-accomplice: Janu. If you skip the story and jump right to the video, I should warn you now: There’s lots of swear*!#g!  The story of this video starts about a month back when I grew tired of hearing myself … Read more

Loving Attention

There’s only one thing I’ve ever foundTo fill the hole inside. Money won’t do the jobAnd a job is not enough.Looking good just covers upThe deeper painful stuff Approval from outside won’t do,Pride only last so longSoon the hole is back againAs deep and just as strong Accomplishments won’t fill itNor any trophies wonGenerosity is … Read more

Worth The Wait

At the beginning of May, Vince Wendling, a 39-year old, Minnesota-born, passionate, peaceful, loving man, said goodbye to his housemates, coworkers, friends, and a cat (not his) named Frank. He put most of his things in storage, sold his car, and slung a backpack into my trunk. I climbed into the passenger side, he took … Read more

Baltimore Goes To Hamilton: Our Fundraiser

When I saw Hamilton for the first time, I was totally struck by the show, as everyone is.  But I was also struck by the contrast of a cast of people color and an audience of white people, like me. In the same moment I felt my heart break, I had an idea. For 15 … Read more

The Poetry of Pleasure

Originally published in Elephant Journal These days I do yoga because it feels like sex. I told this to someone recently who said, “Really? You must not have great sex.” “Maybe,” I admitted, “but could it be that you haven’t had great yoga?” When I say yoga feels like sex, I don’t mean the penetrating, … Read more

The Story of “Mine”

Last week I was on an airplane next to a woman eating Pringles. Though they smelled delicious, I did not reach over and take one. Why? Because they were “hers.” I never even considered having one. The only thought I had about the Pringles was that I wished she’d put the lid on the can; … Read more