Going All the Way With Play

I’m so excited to share this video I made recently with the help of my new art-accomplice: Janu.

If you skip the story and jump right to the video, I should warn you now: There’s lots of swear*!#g! 

The story of this video starts about a month back when I grew tired of hearing myself complain. I don’t think of myself as a complainer, but I’d started noticing just how often small to medium criticisms came out of my mouth. 

Eating: “This gordita was a lot better fresh off the grill.” 

Watching Netflix: “That plot twist made no sense. That’s too out of character.” 

Customer Support-ing: “This is the third time I’ve had to email them about the same thing.”

Girlfriending: “Um, babe? I thought you were gonna do that thing I asked for.” (<– tone) 

As someone who spends a lot of time meditating, i.e., practicing acceptance, I realized all these little utterances were unconscious conflicts with reality. As Byron Katie often says, everytime you fight with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.

To bring more awareness to my complaining, for the month of February I challenged myself to put $20 in a jar every time I caught myself complaining. The $20s are going out in the world as tips. Yesterday I tipped $20 for three of the previously critiqued $4 gorditas.

Playing at a Persona Party

Then last week, I was invited to attend a persona party with my mentors, Jim and Diana from Conscious.is as part of their book club in which we study each chapter of their book, The 15 commitments of Conscious Leadership

A persona party is where attendees focus on and amp up one aspect of their personality to get to know it better. We attend the party as that persona and observe how that aspect interacts with other people’s personas. 

As Diana often says, it’s what we’re all doing anyway, we might as well play with it. 

As soon as I got the email, I heard my inner complainer start rumbling. She scrunched her nose. She considered not going. 

And then I knew suddenly that in starting my Complaining Awareness Month, I had missed a step. I was trying to get rid of an aspect of myself without even getting to know it

Now you have the context for the video. Enjoy! 

After recording this video on our Inside Coaching Channel, I ended up attending the persona party as “Connie the Complainer” and had a blast.  

While I did learn a few things as Connie, I think my biggest take away is how seriously I take resistance. When it comes up, I often quit, cancel, or repress and follow-through begrudgingly

The irony of allowing my resistance (in the form of Connie) to be the one to attend the party meant that I was not only in, I was ALL in. 

I’m going to continue my February complaining commitment. I’ve enjoyed how much better I feel when I don’t have a mental thread scanning for things to critique. Also, tipping well feels really really good. 

But when a complaint does rise in me, I’m going to do my best to honor Connie the Complainer, either by allowing the energy of it to surface in the form of a smile, or if it needs to come out, then by going ALL the way with PLAY.

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